My name is Blair. I'm in my late 20's. I live in the South of the United States -- home of fried foods, delicious cakes, and a slower pace of life. We drink sweet tea, say "Y'all," and love God on more than just Sunday. I've lived in the same state my whole life, but have been blessed (yes, we count our blessings down South) to have traveled many places and consider myself very well rounded and well spoken.
I have a Bachelors Degree in Health Fitness, graduating 6 years ago with Magna Cum Laude Honors. After completing my Bachelors Degree, I taught group fitness classes while getting my Associates Degree as Physical Therapist Assistant. During my secondary education, I met my now husband through an online dating website and we dated throughout my schooling.
After graduating and becoming licensed as a PTA, I worked for 2 years full time at a local hospital as a PTA. During this time, my boyfriend proposed and we began planning our wedding. I loved my job at the hospital, or rather, I loved my patients. But the workload and stress levels and pressure from co-workers pushed me away and I had to leave that job for my sanity. Not to mention that after Daniel and I had gotten married, I had moved in with him, which meant that I now had a one hour commute (one way) to work. While to many that's nothing, that is an excessive commute in our neck of the woods. And it was driving me crazy (pun intended).
After several months of job searching and several interviews, I decided that it was time to step away from my PTA career -- not because I hated the job, but because I couldn't find the right fit in my new community. So I became a telecommunicator for the local Sheriff's department, and went from a Monday through Friday 9-5 job to a Rotating Shift Schedule working 12 hour shifts.
It was a big adjustment, but I have fallen in love with my job. Although it has its moments of stress, it is nothing compared to what I had been experiencing. And the work atmosphere was not toxic like my last job. Plus it put me on a very similar work schedule as my husband, which I really liked.
In the last year, Daniel and I adopted two fur babies: Cooper (6 year old Pit/Hound Mix) and Bella (1.5 year old Pit/Lab Mix). They are pretty much our whole world and we spoil them rotten. Just this week, Daniel and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary with a trip to Virginia.
Ever since I started PTA school, I have progressively gained weight. In the last 5 years I have gained 50 pounds. Stress had a lot to do with it. Progressively higher standards of living (i.e. having more money to eat out and buy more than just the bare necessities) had a lot to do with it. Falling in love and gaining the happy weight contributed. Then depression kicked in and contributed. Then marital problems came up and contributed. Which brought me back into depression which contributed even more -- emotional eating, laziness, no sense of worth or value.
The last couple of months have been a cycle of getting back on track, falling off the wagon, getting back on track, falling off the wagon. Being completely lost. Having absolutely no idea how to start, where to start, or what to do. I have a four year degree in how to help others, but I had no idea how to help myself. It was embarrassing, being in that sort of situation. But that's where I was.
I had let circumstances rule me over the last five years. I'd lost all sense of self-control. If I wanted it, I ate it. If I didn't feel like working out, I didn't. Five years later and here I am, 50 pounds heavier and completely lost.
This blog is for me primarily. Expressing my frustrations, my fears, my failures. Celebrating my successes. Being open and vulnerable to myself first. Being open and vulnerable to anyone else who finds time or interest in this process. But this blog is for everyone else second. It's a place for anyone to be able to feel welcome. To be able to express their understandings of the frustrations, fears, and failures. To be a place of support, encouragement, and honesty.
This is to chronicle my process -- however long that takes.
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