Mountains and Valleys. Such is life. Highs and Lows. Peaks and Depths. Peaks and depths. peaks and depths.
Good weeks come, then they fade into bad ones. Good weeks are filled with self-belief, self-confidence, focus, motivation, inspiration, hope, promise. Bad ones are filled with self-doubt, self-blame, self-hate, anxiety, depression, frustration, tears, angst, feeling trapped, feeling un-liked and less than.
The pendulum swings one way, it's inevitable for it to swing back the other way.
I don't like the swings. I don't like the negativity, the feelings of failure. But when you feel surrounded by them, it's hard to swim out of that current. It's a riptide. Pulling you in and cycling you around and around and around.
My constant is creativity. Expression. Outlet. Directed energy focus.
I enjoy quilting. I need to do more of it.
Except I'm at a creative block on how to quilt the borders.
And it's getting late.
So while I need to create, I shouldn't start. Because I'll be up all night. And I need sleep for work in the morning.
Sometimes I think I'd like to learn how to paint. But do I really need another hobby? Not really. I've got enough to keep me interested between quilting/sewing, hiking, and running.
Friday, April 27, 2018
Sunday, April 22, 2018
Climb Every Mountain
Yesterday, I had the pleasure of going to see a touring broadway production of the Sound of Music. Sound of Music is one of my all time favorite movies/musicals. They just don't make movies or screen plays like that anymore! And while I know the story like the back of my hand, and most of the music just as well., there was a scene that struck me anew and brought tears to my eyes.
Maria has run back to the abbey after she realizes that she and the Captain are in love. Love and being loved scared her. While in counsel with the Abbey Mother, she tells Maria "These walls were not built to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live." And then she continues to encourage Maria in song. And while I'd heard this song hundreds of time, I didn't really understand what she was saying: "Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow, until you find your dream."
And at this point in the play, I'm in tears. Because for as long as we live, we need to climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow until we find our dreams. We need to face every obstacle. We need to lean in and do the work. Push back against the obstacles and the currents, staying true to who we are and what our dreams/callings are.
In moments like this, where I am overcome with emotion and encouragement and inspiration, I can't help but ask myself if I am doing these things. Am I pushing? Am I climbing? Am I fording? Am I following the rainbows? Am I working toward my goals and dreams?
In the same token, I take an inventory of how I'm spending my time. Everyone around me always comments "I don't know how you stay so busy all the time." or "You're always off doing something different and interesting." I get a bit of pride at these comments, because it reminds me that I'm not just living a life that this world expects me live. I'm living my own life and coloring it the way I like it. But I always wonder if I'm doing too much. Interested in too much. Is there something I need to minimize?
But I do have a wide interest range. I love my sewing/quilting. I love the challenge I have of training for a half marathon. I love that I'm getting back into hiking and spending more time in God's natural creation. I love that I'm planning for two big trips out West to visit a ton of National Parks. I love that I don't care that much about being a Miss Priss. I love that I want to cultivate a greener thumb. I love that I love theater and art. And I love that I keep chasing these things; climbing their mountains and following their rainbows. These are a few of my favorite things ;)
I can't help but be so grateful that I've cultivated a life filled with things I appreciate, enjoy, and that fulfill me.
And if you're a theater junkie like me and/or love the Sound of Music, enjoy this soundtrack from 1959 :)
Maria has run back to the abbey after she realizes that she and the Captain are in love. Love and being loved scared her. While in counsel with the Abbey Mother, she tells Maria "These walls were not built to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live." And then she continues to encourage Maria in song. And while I'd heard this song hundreds of time, I didn't really understand what she was saying: "Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow, until you find your dream."
And at this point in the play, I'm in tears. Because for as long as we live, we need to climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow until we find our dreams. We need to face every obstacle. We need to lean in and do the work. Push back against the obstacles and the currents, staying true to who we are and what our dreams/callings are.
In moments like this, where I am overcome with emotion and encouragement and inspiration, I can't help but ask myself if I am doing these things. Am I pushing? Am I climbing? Am I fording? Am I following the rainbows? Am I working toward my goals and dreams?
In the same token, I take an inventory of how I'm spending my time. Everyone around me always comments "I don't know how you stay so busy all the time." or "You're always off doing something different and interesting." I get a bit of pride at these comments, because it reminds me that I'm not just living a life that this world expects me live. I'm living my own life and coloring it the way I like it. But I always wonder if I'm doing too much. Interested in too much. Is there something I need to minimize?
But I do have a wide interest range. I love my sewing/quilting. I love the challenge I have of training for a half marathon. I love that I'm getting back into hiking and spending more time in God's natural creation. I love that I'm planning for two big trips out West to visit a ton of National Parks. I love that I don't care that much about being a Miss Priss. I love that I want to cultivate a greener thumb. I love that I love theater and art. And I love that I keep chasing these things; climbing their mountains and following their rainbows. These are a few of my favorite things ;)
I can't help but be so grateful that I've cultivated a life filled with things I appreciate, enjoy, and that fulfill me.
And if you're a theater junkie like me and/or love the Sound of Music, enjoy this soundtrack from 1959 :)
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