New Years Eve... It's here! In just a few hours, a new year will be upon us. I normally take a lot longer time to reflect on one year and dream about the coming year. But this year, I didn't have that luxury.
Just yesterday, I took down my 2017 vision board and stared blankly at the bulletin board. I had nothing to come to mind as to what I wanted to accomplish in 2018. I felt tired reflecting back on what I had gone through and accomplished this year, and even more tired considering the future.
I turned to Pinterest with only a few vague concepts -- I wanted to focus on self care and quilting. And that's all I knew. And the inspiration began to grow...
It's not so much self care that I want to incorporate more, it's actually self love. Doing things out of love for myself. Learning to love myself. Treating my body and my mind and my emotions with respect. Speaking positively about myself to myself. Finding balance between completing intense workouts and slower, more mindful yoga.
Daniel and I also brainstormed some goals we wanted to reach this year. We came up with a homeowner goal: new flooring in the living areas of the house (including repairing the kitchen floor). We decided to limit our travel goals to one large trip toward the end of the year: travel to Disney World and Wizarding World of Harry Potter (culminating all holidays, anniversaries, and birthday gifts and trips into one).
It feels really good to have these goals. My 2017 vision board was actually the same as my 2016 vision board -- I didn't feel at the start of 2017 that I was done with the work I wanted to accomplish on the board. So I pretty much left it alone. It felt good to look at that board yesterday and realize that I had done the work and made the progress I'd wanted to make, that it was time to strip the board clean and come up with new vision goals.
So now that I've got the concepts, it's time to create the board to reflect the conceptual goals.
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Saturday, December 30, 2017
A December to Remember
I know I say this a lot, but it's amazing to me how much things can change with the drop of a hat. In 19 days since my last post, I feel like a lot of my life has been turned upside down, shaken, and scrambled.
In 19 days, my faith, patience, boundaries, and morals have been tested to a level I didn't think they could be.
I want to spill my heart out about everything that has happened in 19 days, but I can't. Because a large chunk of what has happened is not my story to tell. I am involved deeply in the story, but it's not mine to tell. And I struggle with that, because this is a place that I come to work through my feelings and my life.
To sum up the changes: my sister, her 18 month old son, and her 11 year old black lab are currently staying with my husband and I for the foreseeable future. We had about 2 days notice before this occurred, and those days we were working and had no time to prepare the house for our now houseguests. Then our two days off were spent in a whirlwind of moving out and moving in.
In the midst of moving her, our youngest dog attacked her dog. And we had to make the impossible and heart breaking decision to put our dog down. It was the worst night of my life. Our girl Bella was our cuddle bug. Our protector. Our shadow. Our emotional support animal. Our bed hog. She was our running encourager. She was the door greeter -- her whole body would wag when you came home, she was always so happy and excited to see you. She was such an integral part to our lives...
We took no time off of work in the middle of all this, so it was right back to work. And while we are trying to keep our own lives on track, I have been pushed and pulled in so many directions. I have been challenged in my own home. I have been disrespected in my own home. I have been ignored, excluded, and left out of plans in my own home. It's been very hard establishing boundaries and motivating life changes.
Not to mention that during this time was Christmas. As a result of everything going on, our holiday shopping and festivity attendance suffered. Daniel fell ill with the stomach flu just two days after we put Bella down. Then I came down with it a week after we put Bella down and had to miss two days of work due to vomiting and having diarrhea. The truck battery died yesterday and had to be replaced. The lock on the back door stopped working (which means we went ahead and changed out ALL the locks for the exterior doors). And we're in the middle of the coldest weather we've had yet this year.
It really truly feels like we can't win or get ahead this month.
But it would be so easy for me to focus on all the chaos and negativity around me. That's what the devil wants. He wants me to be miserable and distracted and bitter. But he won't win that battle!
Despite everything that has happened this month, I have been overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude to God - who has helped us through every step of this and has affirmed our choices and our decisions. Gratitude to strangers, whose little acts of kindness that might usually go un-noticed has been more than noticed, and has even brought me to tears on multiple occasions (who knew a waitress offering me a to go cup at a restaurant that never offers them could make me cry?). Gratitude for my friends, support system, and prayer warriors -- who have been with me every step of the way and have helped me by listening, praying, and advising. Gratitude for the MULTITUDE of blessings God has given me, that has put me in the position to where I can do things -- for myself and for others. Gratitude for the generosity that has been shown to us. We have secured a crib at no cost to us. We have received financial Christmas gifts that have helped ease the strain of the unexpected costs. We continue stepping out in faith and our faith continues to be rewarded. I am overwhelmed at those who exchanged gifts with us -- the gifts that were received were thoughtful, but shortly after receiving many of them, those same thoughtful gifts became lifelines (Daniel got me a Roku Stick for the master bedroom TV and the next day I fell ill with the stomach flu; and that stick provided peace, distraction, and entertainment while I was ill) (My friend gave me a gift card for yoga) (Lowes gift cards given to allow us to get new bathroom vanity lights allowed us to mostly pay for the exterior locks). I just can't stop thinking to myself how grateful I am. I can't stop thinking "I am blessed far beyond what I deserve." I can't stop giving God the glory.
There is still so much to do. So much to be figured out. So many obstacles and fences. But it feels so good to be able to say that we've made it this far.
If you're reading this, I would ask that if you pray, to please continue to pray for my immediate family. We are facing things we've never faced. And we will only be able to claim victory with God's help.
In 19 days, my faith, patience, boundaries, and morals have been tested to a level I didn't think they could be.
I want to spill my heart out about everything that has happened in 19 days, but I can't. Because a large chunk of what has happened is not my story to tell. I am involved deeply in the story, but it's not mine to tell. And I struggle with that, because this is a place that I come to work through my feelings and my life.
To sum up the changes: my sister, her 18 month old son, and her 11 year old black lab are currently staying with my husband and I for the foreseeable future. We had about 2 days notice before this occurred, and those days we were working and had no time to prepare the house for our now houseguests. Then our two days off were spent in a whirlwind of moving out and moving in.
In the midst of moving her, our youngest dog attacked her dog. And we had to make the impossible and heart breaking decision to put our dog down. It was the worst night of my life. Our girl Bella was our cuddle bug. Our protector. Our shadow. Our emotional support animal. Our bed hog. She was our running encourager. She was the door greeter -- her whole body would wag when you came home, she was always so happy and excited to see you. She was such an integral part to our lives...
We took no time off of work in the middle of all this, so it was right back to work. And while we are trying to keep our own lives on track, I have been pushed and pulled in so many directions. I have been challenged in my own home. I have been disrespected in my own home. I have been ignored, excluded, and left out of plans in my own home. It's been very hard establishing boundaries and motivating life changes.
Not to mention that during this time was Christmas. As a result of everything going on, our holiday shopping and festivity attendance suffered. Daniel fell ill with the stomach flu just two days after we put Bella down. Then I came down with it a week after we put Bella down and had to miss two days of work due to vomiting and having diarrhea. The truck battery died yesterday and had to be replaced. The lock on the back door stopped working (which means we went ahead and changed out ALL the locks for the exterior doors). And we're in the middle of the coldest weather we've had yet this year.
It really truly feels like we can't win or get ahead this month.
But it would be so easy for me to focus on all the chaos and negativity around me. That's what the devil wants. He wants me to be miserable and distracted and bitter. But he won't win that battle!
Despite everything that has happened this month, I have been overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude to God - who has helped us through every step of this and has affirmed our choices and our decisions. Gratitude to strangers, whose little acts of kindness that might usually go un-noticed has been more than noticed, and has even brought me to tears on multiple occasions (who knew a waitress offering me a to go cup at a restaurant that never offers them could make me cry?). Gratitude for my friends, support system, and prayer warriors -- who have been with me every step of the way and have helped me by listening, praying, and advising. Gratitude for the MULTITUDE of blessings God has given me, that has put me in the position to where I can do things -- for myself and for others. Gratitude for the generosity that has been shown to us. We have secured a crib at no cost to us. We have received financial Christmas gifts that have helped ease the strain of the unexpected costs. We continue stepping out in faith and our faith continues to be rewarded. I am overwhelmed at those who exchanged gifts with us -- the gifts that were received were thoughtful, but shortly after receiving many of them, those same thoughtful gifts became lifelines (Daniel got me a Roku Stick for the master bedroom TV and the next day I fell ill with the stomach flu; and that stick provided peace, distraction, and entertainment while I was ill) (My friend gave me a gift card for yoga) (Lowes gift cards given to allow us to get new bathroom vanity lights allowed us to mostly pay for the exterior locks). I just can't stop thinking to myself how grateful I am. I can't stop thinking "I am blessed far beyond what I deserve." I can't stop giving God the glory.
There is still so much to do. So much to be figured out. So many obstacles and fences. But it feels so good to be able to say that we've made it this far.
If you're reading this, I would ask that if you pray, to please continue to pray for my immediate family. We are facing things we've never faced. And we will only be able to claim victory with God's help.
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Food Allergies
About a month ago, I decided to send a sample of my hair for testing to see if I was intolerant/allergic to anything and to assess whether or not I had any nutritional deficiencies. At first I didn't really see the benefit of doing this test, because I'd never had any known food allergies and ate what I want.
But then I started looking around on the website for Test My Allergy: "If you suffer from headaches, bloating, stomach cramps or fatigue, diarrhea, constipation, itching skin (such as eczema) or breathing problems you may an allergic reaction to particular foods or airborne particles such as dust or pollen". Well dang, maybe I do have food allergies.
So I plucked the hair out of my head, ordered the test, and sent in the sample.
A couple of weeks later, I got my test results and I was SHOCKED.
Basically the majority of my diet I was allergic to. Wheat products (does this mean I have Celiac's disease?), Soy products, Olive products, beer, and whiskey. Well damn.
Then I read my nutritional deficiencies:
But between the food intolerances and the nutritional deficiencies, things started making sense. I've been struggling to lose weight for years now and can't seem to make any progress. And that's because when I'm eating bad, it's a ton of wheat/soy/beer/whiskey. When I'm eating "good," I'm eating guar gum, millet, olives, soy, and wheat. I've been eating food that's been making me sick this whole time. And I just thought it was normal to feel this exhausted -- I didn't even think it could be because of a nutritional deficiency.
And the crazy thing: I've been doing it for so long that I didn't even know I was sick. I just thought feeling the way I felt was normal.
Since getting these results back, I've started cutting out wheat, soy, and olive products from my diet. I've started taking a multivitamin and extra supplements to help boost my energy and my metabolism. And even after just a couple of days, I can't believe the difference already.
I feel so much better cutting out the products my body can't digest. Since making more conscious choices, I have "cheated" twice and eaten foods that used to be normal (Christmas Party spread and a sandwich at Chick Fil A) and paid heavily for those choices. I felt gross, I felt unsatisfied, and my GI system was TORE UP.
It's just crazy to me this whole thing!
So I'll probably be blogging off/on about my G-Free/Soy Free/Olive Free life. :)
But then I started looking around on the website for Test My Allergy: "If you suffer from headaches, bloating, stomach cramps or fatigue, diarrhea, constipation, itching skin (such as eczema) or breathing problems you may an allergic reaction to particular foods or airborne particles such as dust or pollen". Well dang, maybe I do have food allergies.
So I plucked the hair out of my head, ordered the test, and sent in the sample.
A couple of weeks later, I got my test results and I was SHOCKED.
Basically the majority of my diet I was allergic to. Wheat products (does this mean I have Celiac's disease?), Soy products, Olive products, beer, and whiskey. Well damn.
Then I read my nutritional deficiencies:
But between the food intolerances and the nutritional deficiencies, things started making sense. I've been struggling to lose weight for years now and can't seem to make any progress. And that's because when I'm eating bad, it's a ton of wheat/soy/beer/whiskey. When I'm eating "good," I'm eating guar gum, millet, olives, soy, and wheat. I've been eating food that's been making me sick this whole time. And I just thought it was normal to feel this exhausted -- I didn't even think it could be because of a nutritional deficiency.
And the crazy thing: I've been doing it for so long that I didn't even know I was sick. I just thought feeling the way I felt was normal.
Since getting these results back, I've started cutting out wheat, soy, and olive products from my diet. I've started taking a multivitamin and extra supplements to help boost my energy and my metabolism. And even after just a couple of days, I can't believe the difference already.
I feel so much better cutting out the products my body can't digest. Since making more conscious choices, I have "cheated" twice and eaten foods that used to be normal (Christmas Party spread and a sandwich at Chick Fil A) and paid heavily for those choices. I felt gross, I felt unsatisfied, and my GI system was TORE UP.
It's just crazy to me this whole thing!
So I'll probably be blogging off/on about my G-Free/Soy Free/Olive Free life. :)
In 2016, before my world fell apart, I decided to take a crack at selling my handmade goodies on etsy. To be honest, I didn't put enough into it because shortly after I activated everything, my personal life blew up and my etsy business just fell to the wayside.
Lately, I've become more interested in seeing if I could sell my wares successfully. I feel especially inspired after going to a craft show in Asheville NC while on vacation and seeing just what gorgeous things people can make. I'm talking jewelry that looked straight out of a jewelry store. EVERYTHING was so PERFECT. I wanted to immediately go home and work on my craft!
When I got home, reality hit me. It's hard to find time to work on my craft when I need to craft Christmas gifts! So I've been buzzing along making the gifts that I'd put off making: soup bowl cozies, wash cloths, embroidered pillow cases, embroidered felt flowers, etc. I've been up to my eyeballs in getting those worked on and I'm not even done!
So until I can really devote, I'm just going to work on beefing up my business instagram page on the down low.
Lately, I've become more interested in seeing if I could sell my wares successfully. I feel especially inspired after going to a craft show in Asheville NC while on vacation and seeing just what gorgeous things people can make. I'm talking jewelry that looked straight out of a jewelry store. EVERYTHING was so PERFECT. I wanted to immediately go home and work on my craft!
When I got home, reality hit me. It's hard to find time to work on my craft when I need to craft Christmas gifts! So I've been buzzing along making the gifts that I'd put off making: soup bowl cozies, wash cloths, embroidered pillow cases, embroidered felt flowers, etc. I've been up to my eyeballs in getting those worked on and I'm not even done!
So until I can really devote, I'm just going to work on beefing up my business instagram page on the down low.
Reno Year
As 2017 is coming closer to an end and 2018 looms ever closer, there are some BIG changes on the horizon for Daniel and I.
The first thing we've realized we have to tackle and can no longer put off is some home renovations. We will need to tackle the kitchen (flooring, replacing the stove, and possibly changing some cabinets). I want to add in built in benches to the breakfast nook, which hopefully we will be able to tackle ourselves to help cut down on labor costs. And we also need to change the flooring in the living room/dining room/hallway thanks to damage done by two adopted dogs who struggled to adjust (meaning: marking). So yeah. HUGE expenses coming up.
We've been sitting here trying to figure out how to find the money to do this. And honestly, I think it's just going to come down to us eating rice/beans, oatmeal, soups, and chilis for the next year. LoL. Back to broke!
We have some other big changes coming up next year too, but those are still very much up in the air right now. We need to tackle the renovations first!
The first thing we've realized we have to tackle and can no longer put off is some home renovations. We will need to tackle the kitchen (flooring, replacing the stove, and possibly changing some cabinets). I want to add in built in benches to the breakfast nook, which hopefully we will be able to tackle ourselves to help cut down on labor costs. And we also need to change the flooring in the living room/dining room/hallway thanks to damage done by two adopted dogs who struggled to adjust (meaning: marking). So yeah. HUGE expenses coming up.
We've been sitting here trying to figure out how to find the money to do this. And honestly, I think it's just going to come down to us eating rice/beans, oatmeal, soups, and chilis for the next year. LoL. Back to broke!
We have some other big changes coming up next year too, but those are still very much up in the air right now. We need to tackle the renovations first!
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Good for the heart
I have just returned home from three days in the mountains with three of my best friends from college -- my old roommates. This was our first trip together since graduating college 7 years ago. And only the second or third time all three of us had been able to get together since we graduated. During our trip, we kept lamenting the fact that it had taken us so long to finally have this reunion trip. But in all honesty, we had a lot of life going on that we had to sort through first.
We never really lost touch -- it's just that our communication became sporadic the more distracted we got with the then current circumstances, troubles, concerns, and path changes. We always checked in with each other, kept up with each other, and at least knew about the "big" things going on in each others lives. But in the process, we didn't get to know the women we were becoming.
When you live with people for 2-3 years, you really get to know them on a whole 'nother level. And the three of us were as thick as thieves. But 7 years of time without each other is a long time. So to take this trip together as an escape from the stresses of our current lives to reconnect and refresh our friendship and our spirits, it was pretty amazing.
Even after 7 years, we picked right back up from where we left off. Conversation was easy and went from lighthearted to serious to deepest secrets. There was no awkwardness at all -- it was as if no time had passed when it came to the love we have for each other and the deep rooted friendship between us. It was so interesting to see that even after seven years, so little of our personalities had changed. So much time but some things never change.
Simultaneously, after seven years so much about each of us has changed. One of us is a single mom. One of us is married. Two of us live at home. One of us is going back to school. All three of us have re-committed ourselves to Christ. All three of us are "old" and prefer relaxing activities and early bed times to partying and socializing with people we don't know. Two of us have found ourselves in professions we never expected to be in. One of us is still not sure where her path is leading her. One of us just quit her job and does not have another job lined up. One of us just broke up with a guy. One of us is newly in love with a guy. All three of us are still healing from the scars on our hearts put there by the men we let in.
To get to know each other afresh, after so much has changed but so much has stayed the same was simply beautiful.
I came home from that trip with a fresh and invigorated spirit. We spent our time laughing so hard we were crying. We let loose and were just plain silly. We were tumbleweeds and went with the flow. We encouraged each other; built each other up; poured out our hearts and our fears and our deepest secrets that we hadn't been able to share with each other because we'd barely seen each other in seven years. I feel so positive and joyful after those three days. My heart could not be more full or grateful.
When it comes to real friends, it doesn't matter how much time has passed -- you're able to pick right up from where you left off.
We had a wonderful trip. We saw some beautiful things, ate some delicious (albeit bad/heavy) food, went to a ton of places, got some Christmas shopping done, and even got a massage. But where we went on our trip wasn't nearly as important as the words and love we shared with each other.
I am so excited to have my girls back close to my heart again. And I can't wait for our next get together next month!
We never really lost touch -- it's just that our communication became sporadic the more distracted we got with the then current circumstances, troubles, concerns, and path changes. We always checked in with each other, kept up with each other, and at least knew about the "big" things going on in each others lives. But in the process, we didn't get to know the women we were becoming.
When you live with people for 2-3 years, you really get to know them on a whole 'nother level. And the three of us were as thick as thieves. But 7 years of time without each other is a long time. So to take this trip together as an escape from the stresses of our current lives to reconnect and refresh our friendship and our spirits, it was pretty amazing.
Even after 7 years, we picked right back up from where we left off. Conversation was easy and went from lighthearted to serious to deepest secrets. There was no awkwardness at all -- it was as if no time had passed when it came to the love we have for each other and the deep rooted friendship between us. It was so interesting to see that even after seven years, so little of our personalities had changed. So much time but some things never change.
Simultaneously, after seven years so much about each of us has changed. One of us is a single mom. One of us is married. Two of us live at home. One of us is going back to school. All three of us have re-committed ourselves to Christ. All three of us are "old" and prefer relaxing activities and early bed times to partying and socializing with people we don't know. Two of us have found ourselves in professions we never expected to be in. One of us is still not sure where her path is leading her. One of us just quit her job and does not have another job lined up. One of us just broke up with a guy. One of us is newly in love with a guy. All three of us are still healing from the scars on our hearts put there by the men we let in.
To get to know each other afresh, after so much has changed but so much has stayed the same was simply beautiful.
I came home from that trip with a fresh and invigorated spirit. We spent our time laughing so hard we were crying. We let loose and were just plain silly. We were tumbleweeds and went with the flow. We encouraged each other; built each other up; poured out our hearts and our fears and our deepest secrets that we hadn't been able to share with each other because we'd barely seen each other in seven years. I feel so positive and joyful after those three days. My heart could not be more full or grateful.
When it comes to real friends, it doesn't matter how much time has passed -- you're able to pick right up from where you left off.
We had a wonderful trip. We saw some beautiful things, ate some delicious (albeit bad/heavy) food, went to a ton of places, got some Christmas shopping done, and even got a massage. But where we went on our trip wasn't nearly as important as the words and love we shared with each other.
I am so excited to have my girls back close to my heart again. And I can't wait for our next get together next month!
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