Oh man... The last week of 2016 has certainly not let up on me! Despite this having been the most emotionally draining year of my life ever with traumatic event after traumatic event, 2016 just couldn't leave me alone during its last week. I am ending this year sick sick sick. Sinus infection plus cold and possibly a touch of the flu. Got sick over Christmas (3rd year in a row for that) and the doctors office was closed all weekend. Four days after the bad symptoms began, and after calling out of work once, I sat in a waiting room for 1.5 hours and then finally got to see the PA. Two minutes later she sent me on my way with a script for the antibiotic Augmenten.
Yeah... Never going to take that antibiotic again! Although it relieved me of many of my infection/cold symptoms, they were replaced with exhaustion, a constant headache, nausea, and never ending mild diarrhea. Yeah. You could have done without that knowledge, couldn't you?
Like I said... 2016 didn't let up on me even in its last week.
But there is always a silver lining, I suppose. During this time of quarantine and rest in the house (and lord I'm not exaggerating when I say I rested -- I was so exhausted that I was only awake an average of 8 hours each day) and was so foggy and bored during those waking hours that I spent them scrolling facebook, instagram, snapchat, and any other form of entertainment that required no effort other than a finger flick.
During one of those scrolling times, I came across a post from an acquaintance from my fitness industry days. This particular acquaintance is what most would call a "success story" -- she transformed her body and her lifestyle and decided that she was so passionate about it that she was going to make a business out of it. She modeled it very closely after the small business that I trained for; offering online programs, nutritional counseling, etc. She's based halfway across the country from me, which was just another excuse for me to disengage when I gained all the weight and lost my way.
ANYWHO! So I was scrolling through instagram while high on NyQuil and came across one of her posts. She was offering a free 2 month training program with basic nutrition counseling, including a private facebook group for questions, support, and encouragement. She was offering it only to the first 10 ladies who emailed her. And in my haze of desperation to escape my depression and finally make changes that would positively affect my health/weight/lifestyle/body, I emailed her. And I was among the first 10. So... I'm in.
I really didn't have the intention to be so cliche with the New Year and start a new fitness/diet program. Honestly, I didn't. It was something I wanted to tackle in the New Year at some point, but I am generally very "turned off" with the whole New Years Fitness Resolutions and Gym Rush. I just assumed she would reply to my email and say "I'm so sorry but we're full. However you're welcome to join in for $XX.xx/month if you're interested" (which I obviously would have politely declined as I am a "fitness professional" and "didn't need it" thankyouverymuch). But that isn't what happened. I was among the first 10. I'm in for free. I've committed to it. Oops? It was an accident?
So although I didn't plan this, it somehow feels right.
It feels right to return to a familiar nutrition regimen.
It feels right to be buying protein bars and protein shakes and vegetables and stevia.
It feels so right. Like I never stopped living this way (though I obviously did stop living this way at some point).
I just can't believe how normal this feels. I really can't get over it.
The two month program officially starts tomorrow. But I did the majority of my grocery shopping today (still a few items I need to track down as Food Lion didn't carry them). I've reviewed the rules (which I'm already familiar with from before). I've reviewed the workouts (which for the most part are right in line with what I was doing before, but a few of them are structured differently, which might actually be a good thing to have that variety), and I'm prepared for no scheduled rest days with alternating weight days/cardio days. I have lots of options planned for the cardio days, so I'll always have something that will interest me (Sprints, C25k, Zumba, T25, etc).
I don't know. Although it is a complete overhaul from the way I've been eating and living in recent history, it's also very familiar and comfortable to me since I used to help train women with this same science just a few years ago. But already I'm starting to learn more about the details of really transforming and living this way, not just telling someone else what to do. But actually understanding what I'm doing. And I also have to admit -- it feels good to be a part of a group that mostly doesn't know me. Doesn't know my history and doesn't know how far I've fallen. It's a fresh group of people where I don't feel like I'm being judged for being a "fitness professional failure."
To some degree there are some people from my old fitness circle that I will miss tremendously. But honestly -- I can't afford to be a part of that group ($36/month for online membership). So it is what it is and I have to do what I have to do.
So... yeah...
Looks like I will be a part of the Fitness Resolution-ers after all. :-p
Wish me luck!
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