Last Post of 2016 -- Surprise FItness/Lifestyle Commitments

Oh man... The last week of 2016 has certainly not let up on me! Despite this having been the most emotionally draining year of my life ever with traumatic event after traumatic event, 2016 just couldn't leave me alone during its last week.  I am ending this year sick sick sick.  Sinus infection plus cold and possibly a touch of the flu.  Got sick over Christmas (3rd year in a row for that) and the doctors office was closed all weekend. Four days after the bad symptoms began, and after calling out of work once, I sat in a waiting room for 1.5 hours and then finally got to see the PA.  Two minutes later she sent me on my way with a script for the antibiotic Augmenten.

Yeah... Never going to take that antibiotic again! Although it relieved me of many of my infection/cold symptoms, they were replaced with exhaustion, a constant headache, nausea, and never ending mild diarrhea.  Yeah. You could have done without that knowledge, couldn't you?

Like I said... 2016 didn't let up on me even in its last week.

But there is always a silver lining, I suppose.  During this time of quarantine and rest in the house (and lord I'm not exaggerating when I say I rested -- I was so exhausted that I was only awake an average of 8 hours each day) and was so foggy and bored during those waking hours that I spent them scrolling facebook, instagram, snapchat, and any other form of entertainment that required no effort other than a finger flick.

During one of those scrolling times, I came across a post from an acquaintance from my fitness industry days.  This particular acquaintance is what most would call a "success story" -- she transformed her body and her lifestyle and decided that she was so passionate about it that she was going to make a business out of it. She modeled it very closely after the small business that I trained for; offering online programs, nutritional counseling, etc. She's based halfway across the country from me, which was just another excuse for me to disengage when I gained all the weight and lost my way.

ANYWHO! So I was scrolling through instagram while high on NyQuil and came across one of her posts.  She was offering a free 2 month training program with basic nutrition counseling, including a private facebook group for questions, support, and encouragement.  She was offering it only to the first 10 ladies who emailed her.  And in my haze of desperation to escape my depression and finally make changes that would positively affect my health/weight/lifestyle/body, I emailed her.  And I was among the first 10.  So... I'm in.

I really didn't have the intention to be so cliche with the New Year and start a new fitness/diet program. Honestly, I didn't.  It was something I wanted to tackle in the New Year at some point, but I am generally very "turned off" with the whole New Years Fitness Resolutions and Gym Rush.  I just assumed she would reply to my email and say "I'm so sorry but we're full. However you're welcome to join in for $XX.xx/month if you're interested" (which I obviously would have politely declined as I am a "fitness professional" and "didn't need it" thankyouverymuch). But that isn't what happened. I was among the first 10. I'm in for free. I've committed to it. Oops? It was an accident?

So although I didn't plan this, it somehow feels right.
It feels right to return to a familiar nutrition regimen.
It feels right to be buying protein bars and protein shakes and vegetables and stevia.
It feels so right. Like I never stopped living this way (though I obviously did stop living this way at some point).
I just can't believe how normal this feels. I really can't get over it.

The two month program officially starts tomorrow. But I did the majority of my grocery shopping today (still a few items I need to track down as Food Lion didn't carry them).  I've reviewed the rules (which I'm already familiar with from before).  I've reviewed the workouts (which for the most part are right in line with what I was doing before, but a few of them are structured differently, which might actually be a good thing to have that variety), and I'm prepared for no scheduled rest days with alternating weight days/cardio days.  I have lots of options planned for the cardio days, so I'll always have something that will interest me (Sprints, C25k, Zumba, T25, etc).

I don't know. Although it is a complete overhaul from the way I've been eating and living in recent history, it's also very familiar and comfortable to me since I used to help train women with this same science just a few years ago.  But already I'm starting to learn more about the details of really transforming and living this way, not just telling someone else what to do. But actually understanding what I'm doing. And I also have to admit -- it feels good to be a part of a group that mostly doesn't know me. Doesn't know my history and doesn't know how far I've fallen. It's a fresh group of people where I don't feel like I'm being judged for being a "fitness professional failure."

To some degree there are some people from my old fitness circle that I will miss tremendously.  But honestly -- I can't afford to be a part of that group ($36/month for online membership). So it is what it is and I have to do what I have to do.

So... yeah...
Looks like I will be a part of the Fitness Resolution-ers after all. :-p

Wish me luck!

2017: The Year of Relationship Work

December is nearly over and January is almost upon us. New year. New start. Dreaded New Years Resolutions.  Dreaded explosion of people at the gym.  Blech.  But I am glad for a new year. 2016 has been pretty much horrible, both publicly and privately, so the concept of a new year/new start is very appealing to me. I need that new start.  I need that metaphorical closing of the book.

I don't know what 2017 will bring.  But there's a lot I want 2017 to bring.  I want 2017 to be the year of Fulfilled Intentions.

I sat down with a good friend the other week to catch up.  She's a pretty amazing woman. I look up to her for so many reasons.  She works full time, is completing her Masters Degree, and is also in the process of becoming a Yoga Teacher.  But she's not your typical yogi -- she's got curves and attitude and she's driven as hell.  She is a wonderful Christian who, like me, struggles with being properly disciplined in our faith.  But we were talking about 2017, about Resolutions, about how they are pointless because we never actually live to fulfill them.  And she brought up an excellent point -- that this year she wanted to approach resolutions differently.  Instead of creating this super long list at the start of the year of what she wanted to accomplish for the entire year, she had decided to set weekly and monthly intentions. That way her goals change as her dreams and focuses change.  It allows for room to develop yourself, because it's impossible to predict at the start of the year how you're going to develop through the year.

I loved her concept.  It was refreshing.  Approachable.  Attainable.  Setting weekly and/or monthly intentions was something I thought I could actually do.  Small goals. Not giant, overwhelming, seemingly impossible goals like Resolutions.

I loved her concept so much that I'm going to change the name of my blog to remind me every time I log in what I'm working toward this year.

So instead of setting resolutions, I've decided to come up with blocks of my life that I want to spend some time and attention in the new year.  To stay true to intention setting, I can't and won't decide where or how that time/attention will be spent.  But there are areas of my life that I know already I will be setting different sorts of intentions for in 2017 (the real areas my life needs work in):

- Self Worth & Personal Development (this includes deep reflection and introspection about the truths of my life that I may or may not be ignoring; re-writing the stories I'm telling myself; adjusting my priorities; addressing the relationship I have with myself; working to address my feelings of unworthiness; etc)
- Spirituality (this includes prayer life, Bible Study time, involvement in/with the church, my Relationship with God)
- Discipline (this includes living with better awareness and being more intentional with the choices of how to spend my time and what I'm doing with my day to day life)

I pray most of all for improved health in my relationships, and I mean all of my relationships.  With God. With family. With my husband. With my friends. With food.  With work.  With co-workers.  With money.  With free time.  And most of all with myself.  I think if I were to sum up my intentions into one overarching intention for the year, it's to work on my relationships.  We have a relationship with everything in our lives. Whether it be human, animal, inanimate object (food, money, TV, internet, clothes...), emotion, status, etc.  And I think it's clear that I need to readjust which relationships have priority in my life and which relationships don't; which relationships rule me now and which ones need to rule me going forward.

I don't know how you're choosing to approach the new start of the new year.  Maybe resolutions work for you, and if they do, I am so happy for you! But if they don't, maybe it's time for you to find a new way to approach the new year. :) And maybe, just maybe, a whole new philosophy could begin by just getting some frozen yogurt with a good friend. ;)