To say the last two months have been challenging, exhausting, and draining would be an understatement. I have spent the last two months in a whirlwind of chaos, trying to help someone else get their life straight, while also being their support system, their accountability, their parent (at times), and their director of resources.
It was two months of conflicting emotions, stress, and pressure. Pressure on me because this person was in my home because of the relationship I have with them. Pressure of them because they were on a strict deadline on how long they could stay in our home. I was glad I could give this person a chance/some help, but I also simultaneously disliked the invasion of my space. It was very confusing and very overwhelming.
To complete these two months, the last week was just insane. Not only were we doing what we could to help this person but also hold them accountable to their time limits, but my husband and I had also agreed to host a gathering of co-workers (at the co-workers request) the evening that our house-guest moved out. Which meant the last week was doubly stressful -- trying to get one person out while also working frantically around the house to get it prepared for a large gathering of guests. There was a yard to mow; hedges to trim; TONS of weeds to pull; floors to clean; clutter to clear; fall decor to put out; and preparations to make for potential overnight guests who could be too inebriated to drive.
Somehow, we got it all done though. The house was ready and our house-guest had moved on. I cooked meatballs, made buffalo chicken dip, and Daniel put some chicken on the grill.
And we waited.
Two people showed up. Out of the expected 20-25. And those two brought nothing to contribute (which was fine, but still).
I was emotionally exhausted from the farewell of our house-guest (and honestly from the past two months as well; I never really had the opportunity to process/deal with their arrival or continued presence) and then to be asked to host a gathering where no one shows up where I had busted my butt to prepare for them? Hurt was an understatement.
So after a little bit, I slipped away from the few guests and allowed my husband his "guy time" and retreated to the bedroom. To add to the emotional exhaustion of our house-guests arrival/two month long presence/departure, I could now add the emotional wear/tear of being stood up by so many people after I had worked so hard to accommodate their request for the gathering in the first place.
I just laid in bed for a while with the window open and the cool fall breeze floating in. I have a TV in that room, but I didn't even bother to turn it on. I just laid there in the silence and comfort of my bed in my room alone. I did deep breathing exercises to try to release some of the tension that had been mounting. And I tried to do some emotional exploration with journaling. All I was really able to accomplish was to write down a brief summary of events before my eye lids became too heavy to keep open and I drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up on Saturday, I was still emotionally hungover. I also did some reflection on being stood up the night before and while it still stung, I was able to find gratitude in knowing where I stood with these people and that they did not prioritize me or my husband like we prioritized them (which meant that it was time to shift our priorities); I was able to find gratitude in that my house was SUPER clean and wasn't trashed Saturday morning like it likely would have been if everyone had come over; I was able to find gratitude in that I could release the energy I had in this group of people and invest that energy in other people who would reciprocate the investment. So while I was hurt, I was able to find some positives and some peace and move on.
I subconsciously decided that I wanted to spend my weekend resting and investing in activities that refreshed me. Because after the last few months, I needed it! I wasn't opposed to television, but I really didn't want to spend my weekend watching it. So in the mornings, I binge watched Blue Bloods on Netflix. But I spent more time this weekend investing in my quilting!!
I had a few goals this weekend when it came to my quilting:
-Finish Block 1 of the Moonlight Paths QAL (which meant finish making the 96 blocks of four patch)
-Start/Finish Block 2 of the Moonlight Paths QAL (which meant make 100 miniature blocks of flying geese)
-Start/Work on the Missouri Star quick quilt "Alter Ego"
-Work on getting more of the mug rug binding sewn on
-Work on straightening up some of the clutter in my sewing room
-Make sure I have hand work projects to take to work for Monday and Tuesday nights
Just a few goals :-p
Well, setting those goals made a huge difference, because I did every single one of them! I finished all 96 Block 1's. I finished all 100 Block 2's. I am (as of this blog post) 3/4 of the way done with making ALL the blocks for the Alter Ego quilt (I might get the last 25% done in the last few hours before bed). I got 2 more mug rug bindings machine stitched on. I straightened up some of the craft room. And I packed my "Activity Bag" for work Monday/Tuesday with: Crochet Crowd's Summer Crochet Along (which needs the last row and the edging and then it's done!), four mug rugs whose binding needs to be hand sewn, and the needed materials to work on favors for the quilt guilds Day of Sharing. I am extremely pleased with how productive I have been in that sewing room this weekend! Especially since I really didn't even start working in it until Saturday.
Daniel and I also took a little time and went to the local pumpkin patch and experienced that. We fed the animals, shot the apple sling shot, rode the hayride, and picked a lovely warty pumpkin (I really do love the weird looking pumpkins). Daniel was in a mood when we got there, so we limited what we did, but I enjoyed the little bit of time there that we had.
And today I took a little time to visit with some friends in New Bern. I love my girls there and my community that I still have there. I miss living there every day, but I'm grateful that my friendships continue. I spent some time with Kira and her son Luke, talking everything pregnancy/labor/post-partum/motherhood. Then I met Chrissy for a quick sub and a lovely walk in a nearby park. I always leave that town feeling so full of gratitude, refreshed, and peaceful.
But now I'm in the short last few hours of my weekend off before I head into another long week at work. I love my job, but I have so enjoyed this weekend of rest, relaxation, recovery, and productivity, that it really does make it hard to be excited about going to work tomorrow! LoL.
I just hope that when I get my couple of days off on Wednesday and Thursday that I'll be able to continue the rest/relaxation/productivity that I've been able to accomplish this weekend.
